This is the most difficult section for me to write. As Iíve said in
another section of this website, I call myself a borderline atheist. I
havenít believed in God in many years, and certainly not in all the
trimmings of Christianity: angels, prayer, etc. I donít mean to step on
anyoneís beliefs or religious needs, but Iím going to be absolutely
honest. Otherwise, what kind of skeptic would I be? ☺
It wasnít hard for me to believe when my grandmother came around, or even
Dottie, as Iíd always sensed spirits. Iíve always had a healthy belief and
understanding of the supernatural world. To me, however, God and angels
were simply mythology, much like Zeus, Hera or unicorns.
Iíve had a lot of really negative experiences with religion. Iíve found
greed, prejudice and hatred. For those reasons, as well as others, Iíd
turned my back on it long ago. Now, I still have no use for organized
religion, but Iím now learning that perhaps all that Iíd thought was
simple mythology is anything but.
Throughout the whole run of this story, my grandmother has found various
ways to get my attention, usually via small, subtle signs. See, Iím a
pattern person, and notice any sort of pattern, regardless of what it is.
She used that to her advantage. Iíd see reoccurring numbers, either in the
time on a clock, my total in a purchase, numbers on a sign Iíd pass on the
street. Iíve learned to interpret her and Cowboyís signs. Well, I began to
notice those signs were changing, expanding, and a new set of numbers was
Confused, I asked my grandmother about it, and she led me to a website Ė
one in which I kept turning away from, mind you Ė until finally I read it.
It talked about angels, and about a sign of when an Archangel has made an
appearance to you. Well, one of the things it talked about was a quick
flash of light, bright, that you see, then itís gone. Wouldnít you know
that exact thing had happened to me the night before. I was asleep and
woke up for a split second, glanced over towards my closet and saw this
incredibly beautiful, quick flash of light, then I rolled back over and
went to sleep.
I had thought it was my grandmother or Cowboy, as I have my room
spiritually locked so other spirits cannot enter (they donít like to let
me sleep). Nope. What I had seen was exactly what was described in the
webpage. Thatís great and wonderful, but as I said, I donít believe in
angels. Certainly not visits from Archangels!
Very strange things began to happen after that day. Iíd see lots of
flashes, or the tiny blue sparkles that is said herald the presence of
Archangel Michael. In fact, my friend had seen those very blue sparkles
around me many times when I was with her. We always assumed it was my
Finally, one night I go to see my grandmother, only to be met by a man
with black hair and black clothing. He had the most wonderful presence to
him: calm, very peaceful. He told me he was Archangel Azrael, better known
as the Angel of Death. From my research I found out Azrael is responsible
for helping to cross souls after the death of their incarnate form. He
helps with the grieving process, as well. I guess it makes sense that heíd
come to me, right? Considering what I do. What he showed me is far too
personal to reveal here, but know that it touched me profoundly.
Iím not entirely sure what to think of all of this, as it goes so against
my belief system. One thing he did tell me was my skepticism was for a
reason, and played a major role in what I do. I guess thatís because I
question everything I do within a reading. Such as, I always insist the
spirit gives me plenty of identifiers so I know Iím giving the person Iím
doing the reading for accurate information. I guess if I believed
everything, I wouldnít be very useful as a truthful Medium.
Azrael has asked me to purify myself, which means get rid of caffeine,
sugar and fatty foods within my diet. That has been tough! Iíve been a
soda drinker from way back, and the day I had to give that upÖ Letís just
say I wasnít a very nice person during the withdrawal process, or the week
of caffeine headaches. But, alas, Iíve done in. He explained to me that we
all have what he called an ďenergy highwayĒ within us, whether youíre a
Sensitive or not. Fatty foods and sugar put blockages within that energy
flow, minimizing it. It blocks clarity for Psychics and Mediums, as well
as he says dims the communications from angels to humans.
The last bit I can tell you right now, as this is all a work in process,
is Iím most recently working with Archangel Gabriel, who is a woman, by
the way. This has been within the past couple days, and I donít want to
report on that until sheís finished.
All I can say at this point is that, yes, I am a skeptic and disbeliever,
but I have learned to re-work my belief systems and learn to not be quite
so black and white about things. The unexpected will bite you in the
behind if youíre not watching.
As of October, 2009:
The last time I wrote on this
page was in 2008, when things were just beginning for me. That is a
long road behind me, now - well, not the lessons or abilities. After
Gabriel came to me a total of three nights in a row (she's since come to
me many times since), I was visited by a succession of archangels, who
taught me everything from better meditation, to how to look at the
internal health of a person, to how to read into the consciousness of
another person. It was truly awe-inspiring.
For all my earlier skepticism,
I've been utterly humbled by the presence of the remarkable beings, which
we know as angels. They are remarkable indeed, but so much more than
that: kind, helpful, always there and eternally generous. The beauty
of their souls far exceeds their deeds, which are endless.
Look into the stars and into the skies above and all that
is beautiful, and you, too just might see one.